Talk:Epic Rap Battles of History 68/@comment-208.114.92.186-20161201113533
Jizzy Bond (Daniel Craig version): Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I beefed wit Le Chiffre n' No n' Blofeld wit tha cheek scar, But they was not as crooked n' rotten as yo' teeth is biaatch! I be bout ta go balls ta tha Walther on dis wack twat up in a ascot playa! Blast shots atcha like gas from tha back slot of a gangbangin' fat Scot playa! Permission from tha Crown ta put a scoundrel down, biatch? I've gots dat shiznit son! I be licensed ta kill; you couldn't git a learnerz permit playa! Afta twenty-four films, I be still reachin freshly smoked up heights! Yo crazy-ass third porno died; guess Yo ass Only Live Twice! Spell mah name biaaatch! Da ladies wanna B on D! Any sex appeal you might have is beyond mah crazy ass biaatch! I be bespoke from mah head ta mah toe, n' afta dis flow, I be done biaatch! I only need one round: Golden gun! Austin Powers: Yo ass look a shitload mo' blond up in yo' porno, baby. Thatz aiiiight. Letz just keep it groovy, baby hommie! (Yeah!) Basil Exposizzle holla'd at mah crazy ass dis would be boring, But Jizzy, dude, even mah mojoz snoring! Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I never peeped such a miserable spy hommie! Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I also never peeped a playa wit glistenin fat-ass thighs! I mean, you can't shag properly wit dat waxed tush! Birdz flock ta tha musk of mah chest bush! (Yeah!) I be bout ta hypnotize you wit a lil striptease, And then judo chop; I be swingin on you like tha sixties! (Yeah!) Yo ass is defenseless; mah rhymes can't be deflected dawwwg! Yo ass is like all tha sex I've eva had: unprotected dawwwg! (Yeah!) Muthafuckas want a pimp wit a lil personalitizzle hommie! No one wants ta sit all up in yo' gritty realitizzle hommie! Maybe Q can craft some freshly smoked up deal lines! Yo ass made Thunderball two bloody times! I be one of a kind; you always gettin remade biaatch! Yo ass can't bust a nut on me; double oh, behave biaatch! Jizzy Bond (Daniel Craig version): (Ugh!) I can't believe I be wastin mah time wit dis clown! I should be on a island wit a gangbangin' fuckin model by now! Sippin dry martinis n' peelin off bikinis, Not rappin against Swedish ding-a-ling-pumpin weenies! Yeah, thatz not mine… I didn't say I was finished hommie! I be sick of yo' wack-ass gimmicks! I be tha dopest spy up in tha bidnizz; just ask all tha muthafuckas! And I've been all up in hell, so yeah, I be a lil' bit of a cold-ass lil cynic, But I be tha original gangsta model dat yo' frilly ass mimics! Jizzy Bond (Shizzle Connery version): I wouldn't exactly call you original… It aint nuthin but da most thugged-out prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage biaatch! Handin up ass-whippings, I be on some real Jizzy Bondage biaatch! Yo crazy-ass performizzle don't stir me, n' I be certainly not shaken! If I wanted shitty actin up in mah action film, I'd go n' peep Taken! I peep yo' modern gadgets, n' I piss on dem all! I don't need a Q to break yo' balls! I be tha granddad of tha brand millionz of hustlas done been sold on! Yo ass is so far up on mah nuts I should call you Bond. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Gold Bond. (Yeah, um…) Could I git back up in mah rap, please? Rap these, you velvety hack! Jeez! Jizzy Bond (Daniel Craig version): It aint nuthin but tha porno bidnizz, n' you've had yo' six! Da ghetto has had like enough rug-bustin misogynists! Austin Powers: Yeah, ta be honest, yo ass be a lil' bit rapey. I mean, I gotta swin yo, but Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. No means no, baby. Jizzy Bond (Shizzle Connery version): Oh please, I be a extraordinary gentleman! I be distinguished dawwwg! If they done cooked up a Mini-Me, they'd gotta cast Peta Dinklage biaatch! Jizzy Bond (Daniel Craig version): Or maybe they should cast a Bond whoz straight-up Gangsta! Jizzy Bond (Shizzle Connery version): Why, pussaaaaay, aren't you tha cunnin linguist? Jizzy Bond (Daniel Craig version): As a matta of fact, I've gots a knack fo' lickin oldschool playaaaaaas! Afta I beat you, I be bout ta kick tha shiznit outta tha playa whoz ass do yo' stunts! Jizzy Bond (Shizzle Connery version): Now, you listen here, you lil duck-faced runt playa! I be all in! I be locked n loaded ta take a thugged-out dirtnap any dizzle dat you want playa!